How Every Soul Reaper Should Spend Their Birthday
by Baxter54132
Summary: Some people love their birthday, some hate it. They party like animals, or sit at home in the dark eating icecream. How will everyone's favorite 10th squad Captain spend his birthday? Read and find out! It's a crazy journey, HitsuKarin, T for drunkeness
1. A beggining

Hey everyone! I'll get back to PUKAT soon enough but for now I'm going to pause to wish someone a happy birthday.

Turtle-chan in Blue!!!

Happy birthday!

A few weeks ago, Turtle-chan approached me with a request, so here I am!

Thanks to Ziryx who tried his hand out at beta-reading this for me. I beta his story, you guys should check it out. If you're an Eragon fan, then his story is for you.

If not then…….. please disregard that last message.

This is going to be two chapters long, simply because when I typed it up it was 5000 words.

I'm just going to let you all know, this gets a little weird in the middle.

Warning: Alcohol! Drunk people on the loose, you have been warned.

Disclaimer: I logged on for the auctioning of Bleach the other day. It went over my price range in about 3 bids, so it is not mine. Maybe next time.

Insert line here! (I'm trying out different things, let me know what you think of this one)

T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F

**Hyourinmaru talking**

_Toshiro directing his comments at Hyourinmaru _

_**T****oshiro POV**_

Sitting on a rooftop and gazing at the sky can get quite boring. Today is no exception. A bonus though, is it makes me think. Many things cross my mind, mostly about the Soul Society and its many problems. One thing that I can soundly say about the Soul Society is that we don't have seasons.

No matter what time of the year it is, it is always warm with the occasional chance of rain. That's why I like going down to the world of the living sometimes; they have cold weather while we only have warm.

The warmth gets to me every once in a while, I wish the world would just cool down, my powers wouldn't have to work so hard and Hyourinmaru wouldn't be so grumpy all of the time. He is one Zanpakuto that you don't want to get angry. It's one of our normal arguments. Even though I look calm on the outside, we argue about everything. The weather, where we should go, who we should fight… I think he just likes to mess with me though. His most recent quip on me is sneakier than usual; he'll sit quietly when I'm alone, but as soon as I start to talk to someone he'll bother me about the person. My opinion on them, whether I like them or not… well he only does that with one person but it still bothers me.

Back to the weather, right now we are in the late part of December but you can't tell. The Sakura blossoms are still in full bloom, almost as if it were the middle of the summer. One catches the wind and is gently blown up to where I am sitting. I reach out to catch it, but the blossom flits just out of my grasp. If only I were taller… You'd think after a few hundred years I would grow tall enough to grab a flower 2 inches from my face.

That's right, a few hundred years, what's one more to add onto that. Birthdays are unimportant in the Soul Society; the last time I celebrated my own was a few years ago with Rangiku, Momo, and Aizen. That traitor. I can't believe I let him trick me. I punch the roof angrily and shake the thought from my mind. Now isn't the time to be mulling over the past. You only turn 200 once right? The day is almost over, the sun slowly making its way downward towards the horizon. It is settled halfway behind the tip of the repentance cell, a place where Rukia Kuchiki once spent many days. I've never been in there but I might check it out one day. If I were to squint up at the sky, I might be able to see the moon. This isn't one of those cheesy movies so the moon isn't full, and it certainly isn't a new moon. It's just an ordinary moon, trying to outshine the sun.

A shadow falls over me and I tear my gaze away from the sun and the moon. Behind me is none other than my trusty Vice-Captain, Rangiku Matsumoto. "What is it?" I ask coolly, maybe there's a mission for us. I doubt it… based off of today's date and prior knowledge, I think I can guess what my Vice-Captain is here for.

**Are we finally getting to go down to the world of the living?**

"Can I join you?" Rangiku asks as she walks up to my side, clearly not waiting for an answer.

I shrug in indifference, She should just get on with it, the sooner we get this over with, the better. She sits down next to me and gazes over at the sun. "You know, there's a party waiting for you in the world of the living."

I nod and let out a small groan, a week ago; Rangiku let it 'slip' that there was going to be a party thrown for me. I hate parties and don't really want to go to this one.

**It could be fun. **

_I doubt it, how can anything where people get wasted drunk be fun? _

**You know who could be there**

_Karin? I doubt it; she hates parties as much as I do._

**Who said I was talking about Karin?**

_Grrrr…_ I tune out my Zanpakuto and glance over at Rangiku. She looks at me patiently, calmly waiting for a response. "It will make everyone really happy," she says to me.

"Fine," I grumble. I'll do this for Rangiku. I don't really want her complaining for the next year that I didn't go to the party.

**You just keep telling yourself that.**

Rangiku jumps up with a seemingly renewed strength. Must be all the sake she's been drinking… I stand up slowly and stretch out my back.

"You can't go like that!" she exclaims loudly into my ear, causing me to wince slightly. "Go get changed into something nice and meet me at the Senkaimon in 5 minutes. Okay?"

"Sure," I nod and jump down from the rooftop. The Seireitei keeps all roofs low so I handle the jump easily and land solidly on my own two feet. Unfortunately a soul reaper decides to not watch where they are going and proceeds to plow into my side.

I use all of my intense muscle control to stay on my feet and turn to scold the soul reaper. "You should be…" the words dry up in my mouth.

**Hah! It's her!**

_I know who it is!_ "Karin, where are you going?" I ask, regaining my composure.

She straightens and puts her feet together in mock attention. "Well Hitsugaya-Taicho, I was just going for a walk when you landed right in front of me," she teases lightly.

**Ooh way to avoid the question**

I mentally snap at the ice dragon before responding to Karin, "I asked where you are going, not how you're going to get there. As my third seat, I trust you to be more responsible."

Ah yes… I should probably explain how Karin got into this. A couple years back she got into a horrible car accident, she died instantly and was released into the Soul Society. Ichigo still thinks she did it on purpose. He contacted us in the Seireitei and it only took a few days to locate her. We brought her in for one year at the academy, where she passed with flying colors. Yamamoto placed her into my squad almost as a joke, but she has flourished. Not that I'm saying I didn't expect her too,

**Again with the denial… just admit that you like her!**

_Stupid dragon…_ I look into Karin's eyes and she gazes back at me expectantly. Oh no… did she talk while I was lost in my own thoughts. "Umm," I mumble incoherently, "Did you say something?"

Karin laughs and pats her hand down onto my head like she used to on the soccer field, "Were you lost in thought?" she giggles and I fight to keep a small blush off of my face.

"No… I just didn't hear you." I state as clearly and coldly as I can muster.

"I said that I was getting ready to head down to the world of the living. You're going there too right?" she hints, clearly talking about the party that is waiting for me.

I nod, "Yea, Rangiku talked me into it. Speaking of which, if you'll excuse me I have to go get changed."

"You look fine," Karin reaches out and straightens my collar as she adds, "If you're in your work clothes people will actually think you didn't know about it."

I take a step back and nod goodbye. Karin returns my bow and I walk away, off to my room to get changed.

**You're not listening to Karin's opinion?**

_Rangiku said I should change. If I don't do it on my own than she will come up here and do it for me._

**Good point.**

I reach my quarters and slide inside. I file through my earth clothes for a few minutes and end up with my usual polo shirt and tan pants. I don't really care what I look like, so it doesn't really matter what I wear.

**Don't you want to impress Karin?**

_What? Why would I want to do that?_ I don't wait for the Ice dragon to answer and quickly change into my earth clothes. I grab my sword and suede shoes, making my way out of my quarters and towards my meeting place with Rangiku. I don't really understand why people wear closed shoes, it just traps their feet.

**I don't get it either…**

_I can't believe we actually agree on something for once._ I reach the Senkaimon and sit down on the ground, sliding my feet into the uncomfortable shoes. Rangiku walks up a second later, carrying a huge bag on her back.

"What is that?" I ask as I inspect the bag with my intense gaze. That's right, intense, although sometimes it is simply refered to as cold. The bag is bukly and round, almost as if there is a barrel of some sort inside.

"Oh nothing!" Chirps my Vice-Captain as she shifts it a little farther up on her back, probably to make it so I can't see it very well.

I decide to let it go, I'm sure I'll find out later anyway. I step through the Senkaimon and a chill runs down my spine. The cool air greets me like a long lost friend. Rangiku follows right behind me and closes the portal.

"What about Karin?" I ask, "How is she going to get here?"

Rangiku looks at me, surprised at my concern, "Did you run into her earlier? She went through the Senkaimon just a few minutes ago."

**Awww you where worried.**

_Shut it…_

T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F T K F

Wow! I'm pretty happy with this one.

The second chapter is much longer than the first.

Again happy birthday to Turtle-chan in Blue.

If you guys are hitsukarin fans, you should check out "Codename PUKAT" it is lots of fun.

I will be doing review replies in the second chapter! I have grown to love replying to all of my wonderful reviewers.

I'm not going to ask you to review, I'm merely going to ask you to look deep down into your heart to see if you have anything to say to me. Look real deep now.


	2. An end

Thanks for you support everyone! I appreciate the reviews.

I have to apologize to Turtle-chan, it isn't as cracky as you wanted it to be, sorry… I can't write those kinds of stories unless I'm on a sugar high.

Anyways…. Review replies!

KittyRiotLuvsYew053- That's the spirit! I'm glad you like it.

soulful100- Of course I'll keep writing :) It's one of the things that I love doing. I hope that this update is soon enough for you. I wouldn't want you to get impatient.

Turtle-chan in Blue- Ya… I'm not really a crack fic writer so I tried to twist the story so it was a little more normal. No worries, Ichigo and the lamp make an appearance.

Ziryx- Humor is my specialty, I like to make people laugh, I guess it comes out in my writing.

meggie-moo s- Yosh! I'm sure Turtle-chan will love it.

flipomatic- you would like my humor…

This concludes the only review reply section of the story. For this chapter, I will be sending out personal PM's instead.

Disclaimer: *Sniffle sniffle* I don't want to talk about it. I own nothing, sometimes it gets to me…

Warning: Drunkenness, people making out with lamps, and fluff. Fluffity fluff fluff.

PUUUUKKKKKAAAAAATTTTT PUUUUUUUKKKKKAAAAAAATTTTTT

We end up at the Urahara Shoten, not surprising considering Urahara is the only person in the world of the living who can set up a Senkaimon. Rangiku immediately walks away silently and I follow her, she is probably leading me to wherever the party is taking place. We walk silently except for the tapping that our feet make upon the ground.

After a few minutes we reach the Kurosaki Household. I can only assume that this is where the party is. Rangiku puts a hand up for me to stop. She flips out her cell phone and punches in a number.

"Yes, it's me. We'll be in with your letters in just a moment. I'm so sorry that they got mailed to the wrong address. Yes yes…. Coming right in." Rangiku hangs up her phone and winks at me.

I sigh as Rangiku leads me up to the house. It looks relatively normal on the outside but there are probably a lot of people inside just waiting to explode.

Rangiku rings the doorbell and we wait in silence for a few moments. The door swings open and we are greeted by none other than the one and only Ichigo Kurosaki. I can't stand this kid, he's such an over confident punk.

**Gee, tell me how you really feel.**

_Ichigo is just so full of himself._ He invites us inside to relax for a few moment and Rangiku and I step into the dark, quiet home. The lights are all off and Rangiku nudges me to the middle of the room. Ichigo swings the front door shut and I'd give it about 3 seconds before the room explodes.

Approximately 2 seconds later the lights flick on and everyone yells "SURPRISE!!!"

Like I was really that surprised… I am surprised by the people present. It seems that every important person from the Soul Society is at my party. Most of the captains and Vice-captains, along with some of my friends from the world of the living and the Soul Society. Well… as much as you can call the people I met down here friends, they are like acquaintances that wouldn't leave me alone, so we became friends.

Rangiku slides her backpack off of her back and places it down onto the coffee table. She opens it to reveal… a keg of beer. Figures… in a few hours all of these people are going to be wasted. I notice that Karin and Yuzu are both present; at least I can talk to them later. Isshin would probably throw a fit if one of them even touched the alcohol.

**You'll definitely love talking to them huh?**

I ignore Hyourinmaru's comment and pretend to be surprised for the crowd. They cheer and sing me happy birthday. Yuzu disappears for a moment and wheels out a huge cake. It only has one candle in it, which is fine for me. Too many and I'd be here all night.

**You might still be here all night, even without the candles.**

The song ends and I blow out the candle with one large puff of air. Everyone goes crazy and Rangiku cracks open the keg. Cups are distributed and the cake is cut. With the attention off of me and on to other, probably better things, I retire to the corner and plant myself in a chair, where I will probably spend most of the night.

Things are pretty calm for the first hour, a dance floor is set up and people are relatively calm. Then they start to get into their fifth or sixth beer and I can tell that some of them have had more than enough.

A good example of this is the son of the house, Ichigo. He and Rukia had been together for almost a year now, but he must be forgetting. I can see him now, entranced with another in the corner. No, it's not Orihime. It's a lamp that is strangely the same color as Rukia's hair. He must be so drunk that he thinks that the lamp is Rukia. I should have Rukia talk to him.

I look around the room, looking for that dark hair and violet eyes that Rukia Kuchiki is famous for. Finally spotting her, I pry myself out of my comfy chair and cross the mock dance floor. Reaching her side, I tap her shoulder gently to get her attention.

She doesn't respond, and I notice that she is staring very intensely off in another direction. I follow her gaze and it strangely lands on Orihime and Chad, two of a small group who are not drunk. They are talking and Orihime laughs at something Chad said. He doesn't talk much so it must have been a major thing.

I glance back at Rukia, surprised that she would be looking at them. Isn't she worried about her boyfriend, who is making out with a lamp in the corner?

I give up on her and return to my seat; Rangiku must have gotten some strong sake because I've never seen people get this wrecked before in my life. I scan the room and notice that Rangiku is looking at the beer keg wistfully. It must be empty. She scoops it up and after checking over her shoulder, leaves the room. More sake only means more trouble. I go back to scanning the room and notice a small pile of gifts stacked up in the corner. I'm surprised that I didn't notice them before.

**You were to busy looking at other people…. Like Karin!**

_That's not true! Although now that you mention it, Karin isn't in here anymore. She must have wandered off to avoid the insanity. That's a good idea, I should go too._

**Following her? That's such a lovy dovy thing to do.**

_You know what? Never mind I'll stay for a little while longer._ Rangiku comes back in with a new keg and places it where the old one once sat. She pours herself a glass and walks off to talk with Kira Izuru who looks quite drunk himself.

I see Rangiku whisper something in Kira's ear and he nods enthusiastically. He walks away from Rangiku and over to the DJ booth, which is being run by Ikkaku. He talks excitedly to Ikkaku for a moment, who smiles broadly. He pulls a microphone out of the DJ set and presses a few buttons on the machine.

"Can we get Byakuya Kuchiki out here on the dance floor?" Ikkaku shouts through the mic enthusiastically. I glance at the mass of non-dancers and notice Rangiku dragging Byakuya out of the crowd. She pushes a drink into his hands, which he downs immediately.

With more alcohol pulsing through his veins, Byakuya steps onto the dance floor confidently.

I would say that these next few minutes are a little strange. Ikkaku puts on the song "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus and Byakuya goes crazy. He break dances, jumps up and down, and basically makes a fool of himself. Not like he'll remember any of this in the morning…

Even my own role model has been affected by the alcohol. Nanao passes in front of my vision, followed by a red checked Ukitake. He trails after her like a lovesick puppy as she tries to get away. Another sober person being subjected to torture by the drunk.

That's why I don't drink; it's such a stupid thing to do. People are different when they're drunk and I never want to be like that.

The only one who doesn't change is Rangiku, but I suspect that she is drunk all the time.

**At least you know where our entire budget is going.**

_True… I would have a lot less paperwork to fill out if she didn't spend all of our money on sake. I should probably leave while I still can, I don't want to be around when Rangiku brings out the third keg._

I stand up and push my chair in. I walk in a slow loop around the outside of the room, making my way to the door. No one seems to notice me as they party on. I reach the door easily and slide outside, closing the door gently behind me.

Where to now? I don't want to head back to the Soul Society but there isn't anywhere else for me to go.

**You could go to the park.**

_That's actually a good idea._ I walk down the road and make my way to Karakura's local park. It's 2:30 in the morning, so I don't really expect anyone to be there. Life is full of surprises and now is one of those times. I squint through the darkness and see someone rocking back and forth on one of the swings. I go over to the swings and sit down on the one next to them silently. It doesn't appear that they know I'm here. I'm just good like that.

You must be joking… it's the middle of the night, of course they don't know you're here.

I scoff unintentionally and the person on the swing jumps up, spinning around to face me.

"What?" They ask harshly.

I recognize that voice!

**I recognize it too :)**

"Is that how you greet your commanding officer?"

The girl relaxes and settles back down on the swing. "Sorry Toshiro, I thought you were a stalker or something."

"You have stalkers?" I ask.

**If she does, you can just hunt them down.**

_I would too…. Wait a minute, no I wouldn't. I would just threaten them some is all._

Karin chuckles at my question. I don't see what is so funny.

"No I don't have any stalkers, but in the dark a stalker could mistake me for someone else."

I nod, a useless motion in the dark. Karin shifts her gaze away from me and looks up at the stars. I do the same. Boy they sure look nice on earth. The moon shines brightly, still nice to look at even if it isn't full.

"The stars sure are nice tonight," I comment.

Karin nods, again useless but I catch it.

We sit in silence for a few minutes when Karin suddenly stands up from the swings. "I just remembered, I have your gift with me," she says as she starts to fish through her pockets.

Karin got me a gift?

**Of course she did.**

_I don't need anything from you right now._ I watch in amusement as Karin searches her pockets. Eventually she pulls out a small book light and a package wrapped in traditional birthday paper.

She clips the book light onto one of the swings and flicks it on. She looks at the package for a moment, before holding it out for me.

"This is really nice of you," I say as I pick the package up out of her hands.

I peel back the paper to find, as expected, a box. I crack open the top of the box and inside is….

A Kleenex.

Really?

**Hahaha.**

I look over at Karin, confused as to why there is a Kleenex in the box.

She laughs at my facial expression for a few moments. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. I have your real gift here." She reaches into her other pocket and pulls her hand out in a tight fist. "Now close your eyes."

Huh? Close my eyes?

**She's gonna kiss you!**

_No she isn't!_

I do as instructed and squeeze my eyes shut tight. I feel one of her cool hands touch my cheek, while the other rests on my shoulder. The hand brushes past my face and goes down to my neck and her arms slide around me in what feels like a half hug. I hear a small click and a satisfied exhale of air. "You can open your eyes now."

I open them and lift my hand up. Wrapped around it is a gold chain necklace with a locket dangling loosely by my chest.

Karin blushes slightly; I can just barely see the pink on her face from the book light she brought. "Look inside," she says, suddenly sounding very shy.

I flip open the locket gently, careful not to harm the small trinket. Inside is a small picture. The picture is of Karin and I from a few years ago. We were playing soccer and it looks like we were having a pretty good time. It was 1v1, Karin vs. me and Karin had just kicked the ball towards the net. The picture is perfect and you can see the ball soaring halfway between Karin and myself. I was playing goalie and if I remember correctly, this shot made it past me.

I allow a smile to spread across my face at the warm memory.

"This is for all of those times where you are being a pain, you can remember what it's like to have fun." Karin says, allowing herself to relax after seeing my smile.

**You liiike it.**

_Yes, I do actually._ I close the locket and look up at Karin. Our eyes lock and her smile widens. This is so cliché, if only there was a full moon tonight, it would be so perfect.

**You wish…**

_It would make for an interesting story in years to come._

**You could tell it to the children you're going to have together!**

_What?! _

_Wait a minute, is she leaning in closer?_

**Yup! Go for it tiger!**

_I hate you…._ Karin is in fact leaning closer to me. Swings are too damn far apart….

I close the gap between us, too impatient to wait another two minutes.

Her lips are soft, probably never been kissed before.

**You're a lucky man.**

I ignore my Zanpakuto as I reach up behind Karin's head, deepening the kiss.

Her hand comes up to my face and I shudder as she touches the same spot on my cheek at before.

When push comes to shove, all people, even Soul Reapers, must breath. We break apart and Karin leans her forehead against mine. "So what does this mean?" she asks me.

_What does this mean?_

**Are you asking me?**

_For once, yes._

**Well it's a new beginning and soon the butt of all my jokes!**

"It's a new beginning," I tell Karin, making sure to leave out the part about being the butt of Hyourinmaru's jokes.

The rest of the night is a big blur for me. Karin and I kiss some more and ultimately sleeping on the soccer field.

When I say sleeping I mean snoozing sleeping not perverted sleeping. We were completely clothed!

Of course morning always arrives. I wake up around 7 am or so, to find that Karin is already up. She has slid out of my grasp and is watching the sun come up over the horizon.

I join her and we watch silently for a few minutes. "I should probably get you home." I say quietly into her ear.

She shivers from my warm breath but nods in agreement.

We walk silently, hand in hand, back to the Kurosaki home.

**Did you have fun last night?**

_I did actually, I haven't celebrated my birthday in a while but this one has got to be my favorite._ I flip open the locket and admire the picture. I should talk to the photographer of this photograph; it's really well done.

Once we are at the house, I jump Karin up to her bedroom window and give her a small kiss goodbye.

"The next time we meet up, this better not have changed," Karin warns me dangerously.

"Don't worry, I'll still be there," I reassure her, going out of my way to be super caring.

Karin climbs back into her room and slides into her bed. She winks at me and waves goodbye. I wave back and jump down to the front of the house. I slide open the front door and peer inside at the carnage.

One good sign is the music has stopped. One bad sign is there are scattered bodies everywhere on the ground. Not dead, just in sake comas.

Rangiku pokes her head out of the kitchen. Of course she is fine, no matter how much she has to drink she always turns out completely normal the next day.

"Welcome back Taicho," she sings happily. "I'm just making breakfast if you want to join me."

I cross over the war zone and follow Rangiku into the kitchen.

Rangiku goes over to the stove and cracks some eggs into the pan. "So how does it feel to be a year older?"

"It feels… good."

Rangiku looks up from her food, surprised by my response. I would be surprised too if someone told me that one day, I would actually enjoy my birthday.

Rangiku goes back to her eggs and casually asks, "So… can we do this again next year?"

Fin

PUUUUKKKKKAAAAAATTTTT PUUUUUUUKKKKKAAAAAAATTTTTT

That was fun!

Yay for drunkenness.

I hope you all enjoyed this, and I hope you wished Turtle-chan a happy birthday.

Finally, I am taking requests, if you ever want anything done, just ask. The worst that'll happen is I'll tell you that I'm too busy and you'll either have to wait a little while, or it will be out of my comfort zone and then I don't know if I can do it for you.

It doesn't hurt to ask!

Thanks for reading everyone!


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